Decide that now it´s time to let go for real. I´m pissed over your behavior and that you´re only nice when you aren´t around you friends. And this works for a couple of days, I do my best not to look at you and I´m kind of proud that my feeling are fading away. But then today, I didn´t see you. You touched my arm and I had to swirl around to see that it was you. A big smile crossed over my face and i was childishly happy for the moment. Booom and all my feelings were back again... FUCK 

I wish that I could have the power to turn off my feeling for real sometimes and that I wasn´t so weak for you!